Where 'Rosie the Riveter' went wrong

There is a huge household responsibility that no one is talking about, at least not with any meaning. It happens every single day in every single house, all over the world, and yet I hear very little about making a change.

That responsibility? Dinner. Well, technically speaking, it is more than just dinner. Meal planning for a household is no easy task no matter what time folks are consuming it. Master chefs must write creative, rotating specials and menus to keep restaurants humming. But, somehow, so too are moms expected to do the same on the daily.

When the kids come home hungry after school, who are they asking that question? The three words I have started to dread more than any: “What’s for dinner?” When your husband walks in the door after work, what does he want to know: “What’s for dinner?”

Such a short little sentence, and yet, one that strikes fear into women everywhere. I frequently respond, “I don’t know; what are you making?” What bothers me most about the question is the responsibility behind it. Why is it “mom’s job” to answer this question?

Speaking with a friend recently, it boils down to my lifelong beef with one woman: Rosie the Riveter. OK, I don’t blame her directly, but more what she “stands” for in our country. (And, while many debate who the real-life version is or was, I have no qualms with the woman. God rest most of their souls.)

So, what did Rosie do to me? Let me be clear: first and foremost, this symbol of the amazing women, nationwide, who had to step up to take on the role of men who’d gone away to war? Well, there may be no better example of patriotism, for both those men and women involved. But, if you ask me, Rosie made one big mistake, and therein lies my issue.

After World War II, the men came home. They returned to the workplace. But “Rosie” wasn’t about to go back to her Mrs. Cleaver role, donning dainty dresses and having not only dinner but a chilled martini ready for her “Ward.” Instead, she wanted equality. She wanted to have a fair spot in the workplace. She wanted choices. Being a housewife and/or mom wasn’t going to be Rosie’s only option.

And women’s lib was born. And, yes, I’d consider myself a feminist. However, I think feminism means I want equality. I want a fair and balanced world where all have access to the same opportunities, choices, and futures. And “Rosie” (along with her women’s lib patriots) moved that needle greatly for the better.

However, when Rosie refused to hand in her rivets, she should have ALSO handed men the oven mitts. OK, men shouldn’t have that task alone either, but they should at least split the duties. Maybe each can have one oven mitt? But I digress.

My only point is, when women demanded their fair share of the workplace, she should have also demanded a split of the household operations. From cleaning and raising children to laundry and cooking, the role of “housewife” never seemed to diminish even as Rosie went on to the workplace. Instead of each spouse handling their fair share of the responsibilities, women tried to do it all.

And while this story began 70 to 80 years ago, long before I was even born, the stereotype has remained. Have you ever heard someone say, “Man, you should help your wife with the kids” or a man say, “I have to babysit my kids this weekend.” You aren’t “helping your wife to clean” because it is not your wife’s JOB to clean.

In today’s economy, many households are forced to have two working parents, and still struggle to make ends meet. But that’s another column. But while both parents go to work each day, it seems only one is supposed to juggle her profession and an entire household’s operations and needs.

Look at some of the hardest working women (or men) I know: the stay-at-home parent. They thanklessly exhaust themselves every single day. It is a job with no vacations, no substitutes, and no salary. Their boss not only doesn’t appreciate her, but constantly adds duties to her job description. Who’d want that position? Oh, a mom.

There is no reason any single person in any household should have to juggle it all. Even if they are a SAH parent, they work hard all day, too. Equality, or the real battle women’s lib/Rosie/feminism aimed to fight, should be just that: equal.

So, while my current frustration is coming up with food everyone wants to eat, that is healthy and balanced, and of course “different” and not too monotonous, the core argument isn’t really just with my family. But, since Mrs. Cleaver and Rosie aren’t here, it seems to be them that handles the brunt of my cranky mood. For that, I am sorry.

But before your wife, partner, SAH parent, roommate … whatever your living situation (because this is not exclusively a women’s only thing) loses her mind, perhaps consider balancing the household a bit more. Split cleaning duties. Do an extra load of laundry. Cook every other night. Heck, even offer to buy takeout.

And remember, you aren’t “helping” her out. You live in that household, too. So do your fair share.